Since the pandemic and the racial reckoning of America since 2020, I have struggled to rejoin my organized Christian community with motivation and passion to connect. While I am still a member of my congregation, I have distanced myself from the intimate connection I used to have with my fellow parishioners. I actually prefer doing church online rather than attend church in person right now.
For the past year, I have visited other congregations in my community, exploring the different ways of worship, preaching and fellowship. It was a welcome change, for the most part, meeting new people, experiencing the sense of anonymity within a new church community. But I always found myself coming to the same conclusion: that a “new church” with a different pastor and different parishioners will eventually wind up being the same as the church I was leaving…imperfect. Why? Because the church is made up of imperfect people.
In a climate of dividing political, economic, and judicial systems, it was only a matter of time that this climate would affect the nation’s religious and church systems as well. Pastors did their best to address the quickly changing American landscape as a result of a Presidential election and its impact on its communities. Once “social justice” issues were introduced or awakened (although these issues were always here, just overlooked by the mainstream population), pastors were faced with whether or not to address them with their congregants. On a personal level, my pastor chose to address these issues as we are a racially diverse church community. While the results of this effort were met with mixed responses from members, I believe it took courage for him to make this attempt not to be silent. If it did nothing, it opened my eyes to the underpinnings of some American churches, and the history of its involvement in, or resistance to, the systemic racism in this nation. I found myself doing more research, more reading, more exploring. This really didn’t help my already challenged mindset of staying connected to my church. While for a time we were doing church virtually, once churches started opening up, I found myself wanting to remain in my home…”doing church” alone with my family. Guess I felt “safer” this way.
Now, some would disagree, but I don’t think this period of withdrawal from my church community negatively affected how I saw God or my relationship to Him. Some would renounce God if there was an offense made from the organized church or from a person within the church. On the contrary, I found myself seeking God more on my own. I continued to read the Bible, prayed, meditated, and connected with other Christian believers in person, online or via phone to pray and study the bible together. In fact, I sought God more because I realized, if anyone was perfect and trustworthy, it would be HIM!
…. And that is what I’ve learned most from this personal journey: there are no perfect churches, just a PERFECT GOD. There are no perfect people, just a PERFECT GOD. While I found myself pointing the finger at others for their lack of interest in social awareness, there were three more fingers pointing at me for my own lack of compassion and forgiveness extended to others. While I questioned “Why can’t people of different races really love one another?” in the American Christian community, I flipped the question to myself: “Why can’t you love and grant mercy and forgiveness to those you don’t think deserve it? You know, like the same mercy and forgiveness the Lord granted to YOU?” Crickets.
So again, I conclude that there are no perfect Christians….just a perfect God. Period. And His name is Jesus Christ, the Son of God. And when I have a hard time watching the sickening acts of our country’s racism and social injustices, and deal with its triggers to my own prejudice, I better look to the perfect God, who, by His Spirit, will help me to see a little clearer, and extend the hand of mercy and love a little farther.
Stacey Genenne 